Buttmonkey Muyo Z!
by King Spoot
Summary: [Brought back by demand] An experiment gone wrong brings Tenchi back to the Masaki household with more human, muscle and nervousness. A story for one buttmonkey who sorely needs a boost.


**]- Chapter Two -[**

Dust and echoes, always sorrowful, the wind carrying remembrance to what once thrived, a sensation he knew in the desert and, at times, looked upon desecrated cities mirroring those of Trunks'. On stiff back, feeling rocks through tattered ki and unsettled earth under curling fingers, the determined fighter, optimistic in his own quirky way, wondered what wisdom there was to open eyes and behold destruction. A whispering wind, soothing bloodied cheeks, carried no past sound. Birds chirped, leaves rustled, and a brief after-image of that pink haired angle leaned closer, lips nearly brushing...

_**"HELLO!"**_

Never in Yamcha's existence did such a scream erupt. Bolting upright, he tore through the child-like visual, erasing wicked eyes and sadistic grin. The hands gripping bruised shoulders and fatherly voice sternly requesting him to be calm helped prevent Yamcha from doing any self harm, and if it were not for the low ki, masked or otherwise, felt from behind, he might have lashed behind instead of gripping knees. Heavy breaths tortured still healing lungs, the organs gratefully missing holes and drowning blood.

"Calm down," coaxed the elderly Masaki, patting Yamcha's back a few more times. "You've had quite the experience. But it's all over now. You need to let your body heal, Tenchi."

The language felt foreign, yet strangely familiar. A few words he recognized, being ones related to those he spoke. His reply spilled as a mash of Japanese, Russian, English and even base Sanskrit, the soul language given by the Kais to every world he knew of. Looking back, observing Katsuhito's quizzical gaze, Yamcha tried speaking again. This time pure Japanese flowed, surprising the bandit with how he actually knew of this semi-alien speech, a thick accent inquiring, "What the hell hit me?"

"Tenchi?" Katsuhito's inquiry went right over Yamcha's head, the old man unable to fully understand the reply. The kindness in his tone stemmed from pure concern of dormant powers, ignoring the cursing to better gauge what exactly triggered this transformation. The clattering broom had drawn his attention from fortune writing, and Tenchi's harsh cry gave had the faux-old man rushing out of the temple, scared over his grandson's shaking and chest clutching. In a split second, fluid enough to give a dreamlike feel, Tenchi's muscles bulged and clothing changed into an orange ki boasting Kai and Turtle schools.

Yamcha stumbled around, head cradled and one arm bracing the doorway. Finally it dawned on him the elderly one had been requesting his well being, yet the strange name continued to confuse him. That was until another wild looking image of one dangerous woman flashed before his eyes. **_"Tenchi. That is the name they've given you. Run with it! It's kinda cute, ya know?"_**

Nearly jumping out of his skin, Yamcha back-peddled into Katsuhito's desk, freaked and rapidly phased away from the oncoming floor, leaving behind a wide eyed old man. "Well," Katsuhito coughed, taking a moment to regain composure, "this should be interesting."

A sharp _'Zwee!'_ marked Yamcha's return to view, his weighted boots touching down on solid stone steps. Perhaps the number of questions did not tally over one hundred, but a few important discussions raged in his mind. With arms crossed he contemplated, frowning in a way only a Z fighter could pull off. _'Okay, Yamcha. Where are you? Let's see. You're in a forest... kinda. You're not lying on the ground as a pin cushion. I can't feel those spawns so that's good - must mean the guys got 'em rounded up. But I can't feel Goku or Krillin either. There's no ring above my head, so I'm not dead... I don't think. And I'm hearing voices in my head.'_

_**"Nope, just Little Washu!"**_

"Yup," Yamcha muttered, "I'm going crazy."

If only that remained his conundrum brought about by lack of understanding a mad genius messing with time and space. Ayeka, upon arriving for Katsuhito's scheduled lunch drop-off, took less than three blinks to deduce a few things of her beloved. No matter the muscle or attire, there would always be something similar of caring eyes fearful of repeating mistakes, always afraid of pretty women no matter the maturity, and forever willing to fight for those he cared for. "Tenchi! Your body!"

Just how this new person got so close without being detected did not register in Yamcha's mind. Rather, that shrill scream temporarily dazed him long enough for a second woman to teleport alongside them. "What happened?" Ryoko demanded, barreling past Ayeka to get to Yamcha. "What did you do to Te-whoa." Gold eyes flick up and down, taking in the chiseled body of a man who had become used to feeling inferior to even more refined Saiyans. To be ogled did not settle as well as it should have with the man, given his own flirtatious nature quickly repressing to the old habit of fearing attractive women. "Ooh, Tenchi! Your body! Me likey!"

"Demon woman, back off! Oh, Lord Tenchi, what has happened to you?" A hostile gaze shoots up to Katsuhito making his way out of the shrine. "I bet he had something to do with this."

Ryoko, tracing Yamcha's bicep, barely had time to dodge the lunchpail swung at her head, and blew quite the raspberry at the infuriated princess. "Yeah, keep swinging, dead eye. You look real ugly when you're-" **_ZWEE!_** "Hey, where'd he go?"

This way and that the ex-pirate and stranded princess, neither thinking to look up until they spotted Katsuhito starring over their heads. Sure enough, a very disturbed Yamcha starred back at the shocked women. Only Ryoko, out of bravado and ability, floated up alongside him, slightly tilted forward to curiously study her beloved. One slender finger rose, attempting to poke Yamcha, who in turn scooted back a bit, defensively raising both hands. "Easy there, hun."

"Tenchi?" There was that word again. "You... can fly." Ryoko, far too enthralled, allowed a warm smile to blossom, the kind easily misinterpreted by an already startled man. "You can fly."

"Oh, Lord Tenchi, what has happened to you!"

Attention caught between the grounded Princess and hovering Pirate, Yamcha did not have time to react to Ryoko's arms gripping from behind. "You can fly! You can fly!" A soft, pale cheek ground against his, wild eyes of confusion and lost exchanging glances. "Oh, this is perfect!"

_**"I see you've met my daughter, Ryoko!"** _educated the flashing image. _**"And down below is that 'other' competition to my- her desire to have you, Princess** **Ayeka!"**_

"Unhand Lord Tenchi!" Ayeka screamed, fuming at the raspberry blown back over Yamcha's shoulder. "You disgusting, ill-mannered witch!"

"Eh, go stuff a royal scepter up your highness, your highness!"

_**"As you can see, they do not get along. And why would they? A Princess and my daughter are polar opposites! But, like magnets, they do have that charming chemistry, don't they?"**_

"Get off him!" A charged bolt sailed past Ryoko's head, prompting the space pirate to disengage from Yamcha, leaving the man to spin about in mid air in more confusion.

"Trying to get physical already, Princess? That's not very lady like!" A red bolt flew back at Ayeka, striking off a glistening barrier conjured right on time. "I like that! Skip right over the foreplay and right to me pounding your sorry, tiny ass, just the way you like it!"

_**"Perhaps you should go break this up."**_Two banshee screams attempted to rise over the other, the women prepping for battle by an ear splitting warcry. _**"Or, not."**_

That did it. The grappling pirate. Ayeka's insults and commands. That pink haired vision adding commentary he understood little of. It became all too much for a pounding head uselessly comforted by a pressing hand. Down he went, flight concentration failing, flowing ki far too weakened to be fired off subconsciously. The landing, feet a bit shakey at worst, and still managebly graceful. Falling face first onto the princess, perhaps not so much.

"And another thing!" Ryoko fumed, too worked up to forget berating the princess in between the guttural yelling. "Why do you need to be so damn prissy! Here you are acting like an arrogant snob thinking Tenchi likes that sort of thing! Well he doesnt! He's not into acting high and mighty and spending boring hours playing snobby politics with you!"

"Come closer and say that you flying mummy!"

"What, princess? Did I hit a nerve? Can't seem to get up here, can ya? It just ticks you off now that we have more in common than ever! He can fly and you can't!"

"Why you insufferable vampire! Thinking your form of lazy teleportation is the same as his!"

"Eh heh! Eh-yup!"

"Floating about, lazying on about, insulting his name by comparing your lacking strength and skills to his!"

Ryoko looked up, finally noticing Yamcha's decent. "Eh? Tenchi?"

"Why, the nerve of it all! I'm not finished! You worthless whore! And another thing-" Eyes snapped from pirate to warrior, flicking up and down toned body, before growing wide. Teeth grit, Ayeka yipped in surprise, before vanishing under a muscled body.


End file.
